Maywood Mayor Nathaniel Booker Announces Grand Opening of ‘Booker’s Driving Academy’
Maywood residents, buckle up! Mayor Nathaniel Booker is taking a bold new turn in his career by launching his very own driving school, Booker’s Driving Academy. The mayor, who has firsthand experience with unconventional parking techniques, believes he is uniquely qualified to steer the next generation of drivers toward success—or at least keep them awake at the wheel.
Unsatisfied with the offerings at Proviso, the ambitious mayor is determined to trailblaze a new path forward. The mayor stated, "This new business will be a key part of our strategic roadmap for the village. We are all gas, no brakes at this point. The administration has shifted gears, dedicating all resources to this endeavor. We are focused on removing all roadblocks for success."
“After my recent experiences on the road, I realized that Maywood drivers needed a guiding light—someone who truly understands the highs and lows of vehicular operation,” said Booker, carefully choosing his words like a driver navigating a sobriety checkpoint. “I’ve been through it all, and now I’m ready to pay it forward.”
The curriculum at Booker’s Driving Academy will focus on real-life driving scenarios, including:
- Expressway Napping 101 – Teaching students the delicate art of selecting the perfect highway lane for a quick, unintentional nap.
- How to Politely Decline a Breathalyzer – A masterclass on how to navigate roadside conversations with law enforcement.
- Traffic Obstruction for Beginners – Helping students understand the best ways to temporarily convert busy thoroughfares into personal parking spots.
- Public Relations Pit Stops – Damage control strategies for when the road gets a little bumpy—legally speaking.
The new business aims to create a new driving style. "You've heard of defensive driving, but have you heard of Driving Unaware & Irresponsible, or D.U.I? Yeah, you'll learn that here."
Enrollment is already at a standstill, as many residents are still processing the irony of this bold business venture. However, Booker remains optimistic, assuring skeptics that the school will be totally above board—unlike his recent traffic citations.
When asked if students would receive a discount for good behavior, Booker laughed and said, “Let’s not get ahead of ourselves—one step at a time. Or in this case, one stoplight at a time.”
Local officials have expressed concern that the mayor’s side hustle might send mixed signals. “We just want to make sure he stays in his lane,” said one trustee, shaking their head. “But then again, that’s never really been his strong suit.”
Booker’s Driving Academy is set to open next month, pending approval from the DMV, the village board, and common sense. Until then, Maywood residents are advised to proceed with caution—both on the roads and at press conferences.
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